.​.​.​To Kentucky Kingdom Come

by The Mullets

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A small pocket of people in the Tri-State area of Kentucky/Indiana/Illinois would call ...TO KENTUCKY KINGDOM COME a pop-punk classic. Snotty, funny, melodic, and very teenage, it is the Mullets at their rawest. The thirty-song album was recorded in the summer of '97 and released in winter of '98. Originally a cassette-only release, it is finally available digitally.


released February 21, 1998

Justin Hope: drums, back-up vocals
Jason Sheeley: bass, back-up vocals
Joey Goebel: vocals, guitar, songwriting
Joel Osbourne: engineer



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The Mullets Henderson, Kentucky

The Mullets (1996-2001) were a punk band from Henderson, Kentucky. They were influenced by Screeching Weasel, The Vindictives, The Dead Milkmen, and Adam Sandler. They had a highly supportive following in the Kentucky/Indiana/Illinois tri-state area. ...TO KENTUCKY KINGDOM COME was recorded in 1997 and released in 1998 as a cassette tape only. All thirty songs are now available digitally. ... more

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Track Name: At the Pep Rally
Cheerleader cheering shit, not standing up, I’m gonna sit. I’m just a student, not a fan. I’m sitting down not gonna stand. Hey! Hey! x 4 I do somethin’, I get some shit. An athlete gets away with it. Some stupid kids that can throw a ball . . .They run the school, stand ten feet tall. Chorus- I hope you lose your football game. I hope your gym burns down in flames. Extracurricularity doesn’t include losers like me. x2
Track Name: White Trash Girl
I didn’t mind that she’s white trash. I said I’d meet her after class. Now I think I fell in love. I wanna give her a hug, but she’d probably beat me up. We went bowling for a date. Now I think she’s my soul mate. She’s got a sparkle in her eyes and food stuck in her hair, a denim bomber jacket, too. I wanna be her boyfriend, or at least just her friend. I wanna go to yard sales with her on the weekend. She doesn’t wear shoes. She needs someone to talk to, someone to help her get through the crap that she will go through at the Super Wal-Mart ‘cause it’s so damn big. Now I wanna knock her up, but then life would be real tough with a white trash family. It’s way too soon for me; I’ll wait ‘till I’m seventeen. I don’t mind that she’s white trash. She still has lots of class. She’s my white trash girl. She lives in her Camaro.
Track Name: Waste of Space
I’m getting dumber every day. I can’t think of nothin’ to say when somebody says something to me. All my friends are idiots, degenerating lumps of shit that wonder through life so aimlessly. Chorus- No profound thoughts are in my head. . . watched two episodes of "Saved by the Bell- The College Years". . . played Nintendo . . . I used to think I had some smarts but now I’m just making some fart noises with my big mouth and my hand. My banal existence has led me to the kitchen floor where I sleep. There’s so much I don’t understand. Chorus- I know I am a waste of space, a lazy dickhead with eggs on my face . . .can’t get them off. . . so, I wack off . . . Leave me alone. I’m staying home. Just let me be.
Track Name: In the Bathroom
You make me wanna crawl into a bathroom stall and sit there ‘cause I’m safe (safe from you all day). Chorus- I’m sitting here because of you and I don’t know what to do. x 2 So, here is where I sit, me and a pile of shit. I won’t see you all day long . This is where I belong. Chorus again. (simulated flatulence) I’m leaving the seat down, trying to sort things out, contemplating all alone, the crapper is my home sweet home. A final chorus.
Track Name: Forget the Slut
I’m asking a girl out and she in turn will firmly reject me or mess me up or lead me on. She was a slut so I’ll move on. I’m dancing alone (by myself), confined to my own private hell, thinking about the way I failed to get the girl for whom I fell. Chorus- I just can’t forget the slut. x 4 My vowels move with consistence with little or no resistance, but I should have known she was a slut. I should have seen it in her but(t). Chorus once more.
Track Name: She's Giving Me a Boner
I see her sit there every day. She’s living proof that I’m not gay. And when she wears her cut-off shirt, she makes me feel like a pervert. But too bad she’s just a dream. I bet she’s never even noticed me. And that’s the way it’s gonna be, so step aside so I can see. Chorus- She’s giving me a boner. Boner. x3 She makes me stupid and confused and I don’t know what I should do. Should I stare at her and wait or should I ask her for a date? I know I’m wasting my time. I’ll just sit and stare and fantasize. And that’s the way it’s gonna stay. Yeah! Why do things have to be this way? A second chorus. , boner, boner, etc.
Track Name: Cafeteria
So much food, so little time. They cut in front of me in line. But I’m used to it so I don’t care. Waiting for a fight to break, found a hair in my milkshake. When I got up someone took my chair. Chorus- Stupid cafeteria- the worst place to eat my lunch- stoooopid cafeteria. (gagging) Which one is the cool table? I say, "Fuck the cool table!" Popularity sits together. Pick a tray and get my lunch. Don’t eat my food, then take it up . . . all around me horny, hungry kids. Another chorus. Gotta fight the lunchroom politics, sit where we want, and avoid all the pricks. As long as anyone watches you when you eat, drink yo’ milk, don’t admit defeat. Third chorus- I don’t care what side I’m on, chicken rings.
Track Name: Billy Goes to In-House
Food on his face, gotta misbehave, he’s too cool to make good grades. Back of the class, gotta big ass, teacher caught him passin’ gas. Billy- HEY. Billy-HEY. Billy got wrote up today. Billy-HEY. Billy-HEY. Billy won’t shut up today. Chorus- He’s just gotta learn to control his emotions. Punishment is required. He’s gonna hafta tone things down. He’s going to in-house. Always smartin’ off, David Hasselhoff, teacher caught him jackin’ off. Crackin’ on your mom, boppin’ at the prom, the Ritalin won’t make him calm. Billy-HEY. Billy- HEY. Billy got wrote up today. Billy-HEY. Billy- HEY. Billy told me that you’re gay. Chorus-He’s just gotta learn to adjust to his surrounings before he starts being himself. He’s gonna hafta tone things down. He’s going to in-house. Billy goes to in-house (and whatnot).
Track Name: Deez Nuts
Deeeez nuts! I never win. I messed it up. Started at the wrong end. Shit on my face. Stuck up a creek. In the wrong place. Had a bad week. Chorus- Everything I do is wrong. I just suffer all day long from my own insecurity. I wanna learn to do things right. I beat myself up every night for the things that I wanna change. Deez nuts. (pseudo-conversation) Deez nuts! x 4
Track Name: Teenage Butt
Don’t look at me like I’m stupid ‘cause I know that I am. I don’t care about anything. I’m like a robot or a lamb. I talk really loud because I wanna be heard. I feel real cool when I say the F-word (futon). I look around and I’m surrounded by shit. I complain a lot and then I throw a fit. I can’t stay home because I’m always bored. I can’t stay still. I can not be ignored. Teenage Butt x 7
Track Name: Favorite Porno Magazine
I can’t wait ‘till I get home. I need to spend some time alone with my favorite porno mag but when I looked in my book bag Chorus-my favorite porno magazine was gone. I was in a state of shock. All I had was my punk rock and my porno magazine, but it was gone. What’s left of me? Chorus x 2 Pornooos! Booobs! How will I go on with life with my porno lost in the night? It was such a special mag and if you see it, I want it back! Chorus x 3 gone . . .gone.
Track Name: Bodyslam the World
Crap in one hand, shit in the other. Everything that’s bad gets worse. I can’t win one way or another. Nothing’s what I thought it’s worth. Crap in one hand shit in the other. It’s half empty. It’s half gone. Livin’ in the suburbs, livin’ with your mother. Take a nap then mow the lawn. Crap in one hand, shit in the other. Everything that’s bad gets worse. Livin’ in the suburbs, livin’ with your mother. Wanna bodyslam the earth.
Track Name: Can't Keep Pants On
I just can’t keep my pants on. They just keep falling to the ground. They’re falling down. I just can’t keep my pants on when anyone else is around. They’re falling down. Chorus- I just can’t keep my pants on today. x3 Why do I even wear pants? My life is floating down the tubes, down the tubes. I just can’t keep my pants on, every time that I see you, that I see you. Repeat chorus and believe in yourself. My mind is in the gutter. Someone else can pull them up. They’re falling down. Nothing is getting better and I don’t wanna wear my pants. They’re falling down. A final chorus.
Track Name: Responsibilities
I don’t got responsibilities. Things get taken care of eventually without me. The whole house smells like dog pee ‘cause I’m kinda lazy and I don’t have the strength to clean. Chorus- Waiting for someone else to call, things will get done after all, I don’t feel like doing anything. Someone else can do it for me. I don’t wanna wash my face. I’m sitting down and I’m not going anyplace. Some people do and some don’t. I don’t think I ever did. I’m a stupid lazy kid. Chorus again and again. Someone else can do it for me.
Track Name: Juanita is a Whore
She didn’t get attention when she was a little kid. So now she gets attention by sleepin’ with a ton ‘o men. The last time that Juanita ever told a guy "no" was when he asked Juanita if she ever said "no." She feels like she is needed when she takes a guy to bed. She feels like a queen when she participates in giving head. She got a reputation. Yeah, she got it really quick ‘cause she always goes around suckin’ everybody’s dick. Pregnant for the rest of her life, Juanita, etc.
Track Name: Prettyboy
I see a pretty boy. I see a pretty boy that’s laughing in my face. And everyone likes him, but I’m not jealous ‘cause he’s everything I hate. Chorus- The pretty boy is having fun x 3 and I’m not. He’s got a real loud car. He’s never lonely ‘cause he’s always got a date. Don’t wanna be like him. I’d rather be a bum that’s living on the street. Repeat the chorus, Chachi. The pretty boy always has on a nice shirt. The pretty boy is the kid that I wanna hurt. The pretty boy, he takes from me everything, everything that I need. He took my pride and he took my girl and he’s the one that will rule the world. Yet another chorus. And I’m not.
Track Name: Waiting for Burgers
Cheeseburgers and fries don’t tell you no lies. McDonald’s tells you the truth. The hamburger meat isn’t real meat, but it’s still good food. Sometimes undercooked, some things overlooked, like when I ordered it plain. The hamburger meat isn’t real meat. Some things never change. Chorus- I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll just sit here and I’ll wait. I don’t care if it takes all day. I’ll just sit here and I’ll wait. I love the fast food. I’m always in the mood. I go through the drive-thru. But, sometimes it’s slow and things don’t go the way that I planned. I waited all day, and then I paid. It wasn’t even that much. But, sometimes it’s slow and things don’t go so well at my lunch. Repeat chorus twice, raising a clinched fist in defiance.
Track Name: Watch More T.V.
I know what is wrong with me. I do not watch enough t. v. Nothing ever interests me unless it’s something on t. v. I know what’s wrong with kids today. They do not watch enough t. v. They don’t need to exercise. If they know what’s good they’ll stay inside. Chorus- We don’t watch enough t. v. At least it keeps us off the streets. Unless you don’t know how to read, you need to watch more t. v. Television saved my life. Watch it six hours every night. I don’t need the radio. I’ll watch the Oprah Winfrey Show. David Letterman taught me that I need to watch more t. v. Lisa Kudrow’s there for you. So is Mario Lopez, too. Repeat chorus and don’t recycle.
Track Name: Kurt Loder is a Prick
It seems like every day I can’t get through the day without makin’ myself . . . look like a total douche bag. The days are getting long. The nights are getting short and every day I just become a bigger dork. Mark off my calendar. I didn’t talk to her. Chances are that yesterday was bad. And everyday I make a bunch of dumb mistakes (stuff that I wanna take- take back on the next day). I get my days confused. I wanna be with you. I am dreading tomorrow again. Monday was a bad day. Tuesday was just the same. Wednesday and Thursday I - I didn’t even try. Friday and Saturday I didn’t have a date. Sunday I felt sorry for myself. I suck at everything. Not good at anything. Nothing works out for me. I’m sick of being me. But, I won’t slit my wrist. I’m getting used to this. Chances are that yesterday was bad.
Track Name: Pony Tail Town
This town’s full of nothing. There’s nothing to do. Everyone’s mean here and I wanna move. The "cars sell for less" here for rednecks and pricks. The Wal-Mart is busy ‘cause that’s all there is. Chorus- It’s a really big rummage sale. It’s a bunch of pony tails. It’s a place where I can’t sleep. It’s a skank that’s on his knees and there’s nothing here for me. That’s why I wanna leave. The suburbs are full of loud teenager cars. Their parents are busy chain-smoking in bars. The high school is full of a lot of dumb kids. They congregate then talk about their weekend. Repeat chorus and get your G. E. D.
Track Name: Burt Reynolds is a Prick
When I was a little kid, I developed a hatred for him. Wanna take his big moustache and shove it up his little ass. Chorus- Burt Reynolds is a prick. Burt Reynolds has no dick. I know he wears a toupee, yet he always gets his way. I will destroy Burt Reynolds. WE WILL DESTROY BURT REYNOLDS! Chorus- Burt Reynolds can’t act. Ted Danson is a class act.
Track Name: Drinking Bathwater
Well, you think you’re cool. You act like a movie star. But, you’re just not as cool as think you really are. You’re a stupid smart-ass teen. You won’t amount to anything, but I’ll be watching you. Well, I’m going places. You’re going nowhere fast. You’re a first-rate dick without an ounce of class. You’re a dumbass with big dreams. You won’t amount to anything, but I’ll be watching you and you’ll be sorry that you ever fucked with me. Well, sometimes I wish that I never did meet you. But, you motivate me with the stupid things that you do. I’m gonna show ‘em all some day. But, until I get my way, I’ll be watching you, and you’ll be sorry that you ever fucked with me. Hey, man don’t mess with me, ‘cause you’ll be sorry that you ever messed with me. Yeah, I’ll grow up someday, and you’ll be sorry that you ever fucked with me.
Track Name: Don't Call Me Dog
Which coast you representin’? What are you tryin’ to be? You’re not from California. You’re not a fuckin’ G. You got some new Hilfigers. You got a bumpin’ car. Don’t you see it’s just a fad. Why can’t you be who you are? Chorus- Don’t call me dawg. x 3 You’re going through a phase. You’re stuck up in a trend. Don’t know if the music’s good. You just like it ‘cause it’s in. You try to be so hard. You’re just a troubled child. A white boy from Kentucky, tryin’ to be in style. Another chorus and you should check your body for ticks.
Track Name: No Anarchy in Kentucky
There’s no anarchy in Kentucky. Circle A’s on your face, you came to the wrong place, so don’t go piercing your eyelid. We’re bored. We’re ignored. We don’t got a place to play and no one would care if we did. Chorus- There’s no anarchy in Kentucky. If you stay, you better shave, and throw your boots away. No one will like you anyway. The Bluegrass. The Commonwealth. It’s a rock ‘n roll hell. Maybe its better off that way. Repeat chorus twice and leave some time for a soulful talk with a loved one tonight.
Track Name: Everybody Go to Hell
I’ve been observing things and I don’t like what I have seen. The world is fighting with me and everybody’s being mean. I’ve come to the conclusion: they don’t care about me. I know they’re out to get me. They’re gonna run me out of town. They’re gangin’ up on me and they’re gonna kick me when I’m down. They don’t wanna see me happy. They just wanna see me die. Chorus- They only care about themselves. They only wanna see me fail. So everybody go to hell. So everybody go to hell. They’re gonna screw me over. They’re gonna make sure I don’t win. They’re gonna leave me hangin’. They’re gonna dump on me again. And when I walk away, I know they laugh at me. I know they’re out to get me. They plot against me when I’m gone. They all just wanna hurt me and so I don’t trust anyone. I’ll let them have their way, just like I always do. Chorus- To all my friends and enemies, I’m waiting for apologies. So everybody go to hell. So everybody go to hell.
Track Name: So Crappy
My head is like a toilet ‘cause its full of excrement. It’s full of beans and stupid schemes and all that other shit. I wish that I could just get up and flush it all away, but I better not ‘cause I might need it there someday. Chorus- My head’s full of shit and garbage I can’t get rid of (contaminated). My head’s contaminated with my worries and my doubts. I’d like to take a plunger and suck all of them right out. Sometimes I think that there is something clogging up my drains, something that keeps all the crap stuck there in my brain. Another chorus. I flush away what makes me mad, but it always finds its way back. The more I flush, the more I go insane. The more I flush, the more I go insane. 2 more choruses. I was conceived at the Thunder Fest. . . Gary caught me lookin’ at his mother’s breast. . .etc. . .
Track Name: Do Not Disturb
I need some privacy. I need to be alone. I need to take a shower and I need to change my clothes. I’ll be out soon. Then, you can bother me. But, right now I am busy so look at the sign and read. Chorus- Do not, do not, do not disturb. x 4 I got some things I gotta do. Don’t you gotta place to be? Nothing that requires you ,so just shut up and leave. When I wake up in the morning, I wanna go back to sleep, ‘cause you always bother me. Look at the sign and read. Repeat chorus twice.
Track Name: Teen Love
I see a happy couple at the show. I see them everywhere I go. They’re laughin’. They’re huggin’ each other and I wish they’d go away. They’re smiling at each other’s ugly face. They just think that they’re in love. They’re talkin’ about their future. What a waste. I hate teenagers in love. Chorus- They’re going to the prom. They’re talkin’ on the phone. I don’t need anyone. I’d rather be alone. I see a happy couple in the hall and I wish they’d go to hell. Immature, oblivious to everything, teenagers can’t understand love. They’re so dumb, stuck up each other’s ass. They’re connected at the waist. They’ll break up then I will laugh at them when they cry all over the place. Another chorus.
Track Name: I Got a Boot Stuck up My Ass
Got in a fight at school today ‘cause these stupid rednecks were sayin’ I was gay. They made fun of my hair, so I took my shirt off and then I said a prayer. Chorus- I got a boot stuck up my ass. x 3 They looked at me and said, "What’s up?" I looked back and said, "Not much." They proceeded to kick me in the ass. I was so embarrassed when I bled all over class. Repeat chorus twice. That’s what I get for being me.
Track Name: Stuck in Henderson
I’m stuck in Henderson. I’m left alone again. I’m hiding in my bedroom. Another bad weekend. I don’t have any friends that wanna be around me. A lonely Saturday. Another way to say I don’t know what I’m doing. I gotta find a way not to waste the day asleep in the bathroom. I’m stuck in Henderson. x 24 I have lived here all my life, but I might just leave tonight and find a better life in Evansville. But, I guess I’m stuck here now. One day I’ll find my way out. Then again, I probably never will.